Recently the Lord has been teaching me a lot about trusting Him with big decisions in life. I feel that He is always teaching me about trusting Him more, but recently this applies to more than just my average, daily need to trust in "little" decisions. Not only is He showing me the importance of waiting on Him and His will, but the importance of trusting my husband and the Lord to work through my husband. As a newly wed it was easy to say that I trusted my new husband with all of our life decisions. However, the longer we are married, the more I see my sinful tendency to want to control and "shape" his decisions. Of course, there is definitely room for a married couple to discuss and pray through decisions and steps for their family together. Yet there is a point at which the wife must then step back, trusting the Lord, and wait on God's will to be shown to her husband and for him to share the excitement of that with his wife.
What a sweet blessing it is when a wife sees the Lord working and directing her husband! I have had the privilege of watching the Lord work in Kyle's heart in various matters and it is a joy indescribable to observe! I truly believe that the Lord leads and guides a family through the husband! The wife certainly plays a part in decisions but God is the One who turns the heart of the husband, not the wife. Now, if you are a wife like me, even though we believe this, it doesn't mean that it will always be easy to sit back and wait on the Lord's timing as he works in our husband's lives. However, I know from personal experience the frustration of not obediently waiting on the Lord and the distress that it can cause a marriage when the wife tries to take the leadership reigns. Thankfully, I have a loving and forgiving heavenly Father and patient, kind, and forgiving husband! :-) Praise the Lord that I also know from personal experience the immense joy of seeing God's hand at work and knowing that it is fully the Lord, not me, directing my husband!
I believe that the Lord has shown me that in my own life, so much of my struggle with trusting Him and at times my husband's leadership, is due to a lack of contentment in that particular area of life or situation. I want x, y, or z and it tends to become an idol of my heart (idol= anything I am willing to sin to get or sin if I don't get). So instead of trusting God with that situation, I sin in my heart and at times with my mouth when I am impatient and seek to gain control of the situation. Thus, I am acting on my sinful lusts and desires, seeking to control my life and my surroundings (i.e... the idols of my heart).
It's so easy for me to "wash over" this sin by claiming that I am just a "planner" and that I want to be organized and have an idea of how to live life between now and "then..." Yet, God calls me to be faithful in the here and now.... He says in His word that He gives us grace and that we are not to worry about tomorrow, what we shall eat or drink (Matthew 6:25-34). How can I be faithful tomorrow if I am not faithful today? How can I trust God with my future, if I don't trust Him with now?
God does not lead and direct us with vagueness. He calls us to trust Him even when we do not understand how He is working at the moment. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) to Israel:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the LORD, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."God has a plan for our lives that He has set forth before the very foundation of the earth. He will fulfill His plan for our lives and He does not need us telling Him how to do it. However, like in these verses, we must be like Israel and come before the Lord, seek Him, pray to Him, and expect to find Him.
So, in the moment when our sinful selfishness wants to grab hold of a situation in our lives and plan every detail, we need to step back and remember Who is sovereignly in control of every area of our lives, from the great big decisions down to even the smallest of decisions. We must trust in God to lead and direct us through our husbands, knowing that He will bless their decision if they are seeking Him wholeheartedly for His will and direction for our families.
Fellow wives, God has given us our husbands for many reasons. One of which is to protect us by lovingly leading and guiding us. Some days it's easier than others to submit to that leadership but it is definitely worth any prideful "sacrifice" on our part! God does not desire to work through a proud, haughty, and controlling wife. His word says in James 4:6 that He "opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." God desires to bless the humble and submissive wife who yearns to have a heart that trusts both her God and her husband.
So, which wife are we seeking to be? Proud and controlling? Or humble and submissive, full of trust in God?
I think the transition from being independent and single to submissive wife can be very challenging! Over the years of being married and having children, I have seen the wisdom in letting go of my independent tendencies and trusting in my husband's leadership from the Lord. He will thrive and look to the Lord more for guidance when I encourage him through submission. When I do this with a happy heart (something I tell my kids to do) and not a bad attitude, I know it encourages him as well. Your words are very wise...if only more women would adhere to them and see the benefits of following God's plan! But we also have to pray for those husbands who aren't seeking the Lord's guidance in the home and need to draw closer to Him, as well as encourage them to do so. We are truly blessed to have husbands who follow the Lord faithfully! God bless~Stacey
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